My mind swirled all day with things I wanted to write. I tried to put my thoughts down on paper (well, on Word) but it just didn’t come together quite the way I meant it to. The one thing about this sickness that frustrates me the most is the brain thing – the fog, the inability for my thoughts to connect…its really bad when I try to speak and can’t make the words come out right. I hate that.
So – I’ll just share with you what today was like. When people ask me how I feel, it’s usually on a day that’s not horrible – that’s what I call it…not great, not good even, but not horrible. Which is just to say I’m not in excruciating pain. But I am in pain. In fact, most days I live at a 5. If you’ve ever been to the doctor with pain you know the pain scale – 0-10… 0 being no pain – 10 being the worst pain ever. So I’m at a 5. Today’s pain – is not specific – it’s all over…and it migrates – one minute, my hand is killing me, the next, my foot. My head pretty much hurts all the time…today has been no different – it just hurts.
When I get up, I get a little dizzy. That’s not quite the right word – it’s not vertigo, but more like just tippy. So most of today has been laying in bed, trying to write, trying to sleep, trying to get comfortable. I hope tomorrow I can finish writing about doctors or our purpose on earth (yeah, some of my thoughts got deep today)…but now I’m hoping to be able to fall asleep.