James Dean said: “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today”. I love this because it is a reminder to me that whatever is going on in my life, I need to hope for the future, but live for the blessings of today.
If you’ve been to my house Christmas morning, you know that I am the one that eagerly, if not impatiently, waits for everyone else in the house to wake up. I make coffee and cinnamon rolls hoping to attract the senses of the light sleepers. I might make a little loud noise in an effort to trigger stirring in the heavier sleepers. And for those who really challenge the patience of my Christmas spirit, I am not above jumping on the bed singing Christmas carols while spritzing ice cold water across their faces. Today, my illness met me a little like that…annoyingly anxious to greet me by touching all my senses.
I think I get a little desensitized to some of the symptoms. Like tingling of my hands and feet and burning lips and tongue…even the constant headache has become a familiar companion. I get this feeling that is best described as “tippy” where I sort of have vertigo, but not really. The dull allover body pain is frustratingly annoying. Today, these symptoms and so many others I am familiar with are desperately trying to get my attention. New symptoms continue to ensure the reminder that something is very wrong, dispelling any thoughts I have of pretending the illness doesn’t exist. The latest new symptom is an involuntary twitching of sorts. It’s like my nerves are on steroids and they just can’t contain themselves in the confines of my skin so they are pushing out and taking whatever appendage is attached…so my foot kicks out or my shoulder trembles. It’s not painful, its just that I am so aware of the movement that its difficult to just rest…but its impossible to give forward movement to the twitching because the intensity of all the other symptoms creates an insatiable need to be lying down. So today – I seek rest in the one and only place that truly gives it, and I find joy in the most simple of things, like the smiles on the faces of my family, the warm feeling of the sun shining thru the window of my patio door, and even the sharing of photos, quotes and funny videos on facebook.
In His Grip
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matt 6:24