Giving Up the Fight

I have been making a lot of decisions lately about the way I structure my life – well, to be honest, God is making those decisions for me and then letting me come to terms with it. And if I’m gonna really lay it all out there – I haven’t always been willing to go along with His gameplan. In fact, I have a feeling he might be up asking me why I am kicking against the goads.

Rest: Last year, when I first became house bound, I fought against rest. Most of the time, I couldn’t get out of bed, but when my body gave me an inch of relief, I made up for lost time by doing as much as possible while I could. I would have a good hour or so, then pain would start to creep through every inch of me until I would collapse in exhaustion. I have learned it is better to give in sooner and let my body rest when it needs to. 

Work: I worked for several months (from bed and with less productivity than ever) and finally took 3 months off to let my body recover a little. Those 3 months were terribly hard! I still worked some, I answered emails and prepared reports and presentation. But ultimately the goal was to get back to work as soon as possible. When I did return, I didn’t last more than a few weeks before I finally decided that it wasn’t fair to my health, to my family, or even to the company. I couldn’t give my all at work, or at home – and my body certainly wasn’t healing. So after 2 months back, I gave in and let go of my job.

Wheels: Recently, I have given in to a couple of battles regarding transportation. First, I don’t drive much. I definitely don’t drive out of town. I just never know when my body is gonna be done and I do not want to be behind the wheel doing 70 on the freeway. If it’s an ok day and I need something in town, I feel confident that I can go, but most of the time, I just give in and let someone else drive.

The big one recently is the wheelchair. I don’t use it all the time, and I have fought using one at all. But I am more and more unable to get around the external world without assistance. For a while I would just not go if I didn’t feel I could walk. But I recently gave in to that battle and bought a wheelchair. 

All of these things were struggles for me. Until I gave up the battle. Once I did, suddenly peace set over me. I am now wondering why I have lived life fighting all the things I didn’t like. One word answer: PRIDE.

Pride is simply exalting oneself above another – above God, above your spouse, above your children, above anyone. There are plenty of biblical references about not exalting yourself so I’m not gonna spend time here. I think we can simply say that anything to do with pride is not of the Lord.

So why do we fight (and fret) when things don’t go our way? How are we supposed to find joy and peace when things aren’t going the way we want them to? What are we afraid of? And how do we not be prideful?

THE GLAD GAME
Do you remember Pollyanna’s optimistic view about simply everything in life. I often hear people use her as a negative reference to someone who has too much of a sunny outlook – but really, I think she had the right idea, and one that God teaches us over and over again in the Word.

 

 A Few Supportive Scripture (oh there are so many more): 

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. Ps 100:4And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Col 3:15

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thes 5:16-18

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Phil 4:4-8

Giving up the fight isn’t quitting. It’s choosing to continue on thru the circumstance, not against it.

Giving thanks in everything isn’t being happy that you are suffering, it is choosing to look for the good things God is doing, instead of being afraid of the bad things that are happening.

Lyme is not of God. It is evil. But He has allowed it for a purpose in my life. So do I fight against everything it is doing to me? Or do I seek God’s goodness and find solace in His peace? I chose to let Him fight, and I will be rejoice and be glad.

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3 thoughts on “Giving Up the Fight

  1. Shawn I have missed our prayer times together very much. I so agree with you about rejoicing in the things of the Lord. I love you sister dear with an ever lasting love. So enjoy your post. Betty

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    • Aw Betty, I miss our prayer time too. I would really like to start again and maybe now that I am off work we can do something at my house during a weekday. I love you my precious friend!

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  2. Shawn, maybe we could do a prayer group again somehow? Remember I brought my daughter? I know you are fighting Lyme but I would love to go.

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