I have had good days these past few years where I think I am improving so I get up and get out of the house and do things, only to find myself back in bed after a day or two with high levels of pain and major digestive destruction.
When I first became bedridden almost 4 years ago, my mind couldn’t accept the fact that I was too sick to get up. I refused to believe that I would be home bound and disabled.
Somewhere along the way, I have shifted my thinking and now it’s hard to conceive of the idea that I may get well. It’s hard to believe that I am out of bed today and will likely be out of bed tomorrow as well. That’s a concept that has been unattainable for 4 years, so why would I think it will be different now?
But it is different now. Since I have been home from Kansas, I have had some difficult days, but none as bad as the many days before treatment at Hansa.
Being home with my family, I am seeing my world in a different light. Just like Dorothy when she woke up after her visit to Oz, things feel different. I have memories of a crazy time when the world just wasn’t right.
We continue to pray for healing. I’m not there quite yet – but I am hopeful for a future without sickness and pain…hope that perhaps had diminished over the recent years but hasn’t completely died out.
Dorothy was so right – there’s no place like home.