I haven’t kept up on my posts here – largely because life has been so overwhelming that my brain hasn’t been able to function well enough to do more than very basic tasks.
Most people only see me when I am out of the house and have showered and brushed my hair and maybe put on a little mascara and lip gloss. I post photos of things I do and places I go that are fun. I don’t look sick.
I’ve become the master of covering my symptoms. You can’t see my pain. You can’t see my heart racing. You can’t see my brain slowing down, or that my mind is unable to effectively function.
The me that my family sees on a daily basis is the me that has to lay down more than stand up; the me that is too nauseated to eat; the me that doesn’t have enough stamina to cook a complete meal, do laundry or go grocery shopping.
I have improved so much over the last 4 years, but I am still so far from being well that I get discouraged when I have days that knock me completely out of commission.
I’ve had a lot of days like that lately. Honestly, it’s been discouraging. I am not having a pity party – my spirits are high and I have had a lovely morning with my husband and daughters.
But I want to be more transparent so people can see that life with tick diseases (or other chronic illnesses) can be really hard.
If you are sick – I want to encourage you to not let your heart and soul get trapped in your sickness. You are more than a disease. It may not feel like it sometimes – but these times are temporary.
My husband constantly reminds me that “We got this”. Believe in those words – because they are true.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9